Summer sleep away camp is a highlight of my kids’ year. They’ve all attended an outdoor adventure camp, 8,000 ft above sea level, in the Colorado Rockies for years.
It’s not cheap. So, in order to offset the price my husband and I, like many other frugal parents, work at the camp. This is my husband’s eighth year at camp, my second.
It was a hard shift from home life to camp life for me this year.
I’ll be honest - in general, I don’t transition very well. I envy people who are hearty, roll-with-it types. But over over the years I’ve learned a lot about how to be aware of, accept and take care of my needs. Drastic changes in routine, diet, sleep etc. throw me for a loop.
For almost the whole first week I felt disoriented and funky (and not in a good way). By the second week I started to get more into a routine. Part of that routine was a short 20 minute walk that looped by one of these majestic, postcard worthy Colorado mountains called Prospector.
Just moving my body, alone with my thoughts, with this expansive scenery was both opening and grounding. At the halfway point of this loop there was a sign, most likely painted by some campers, that seemed like it was placed there just for me. It was a quote from Proverbs 26:14:
A righteous man falls down seven times & gets up seven times
It was exactly what I needed to see.
It struck me enough that when I got back to my room I wanted to look it up. While there are many translations, the full Hebrew proverb says something like this:
For a righteous man can fall seven times and rise,but the wicked shall stumble upon evil.
Being a more happy, campy kind of sign it didn’t include this second part about the wicked. But it got me thinking about what is the difference between the righteous and wicked in regard to their ability to get up? How does it relate to my own life? What enables me to get up when I fall down and what makes it hard for me to get up?
For me, it comes down to worthiness. If I can connect to my self worth underneath the muck, I can get back up again. The less worthy I’m feeling the longer I stay down.
Feeling worthy does not always come easy to me.
Like so many of us, I can have a pretty nasty inner voice. It can sound like this:
See! Here you are again - you’re never going to make it, you always &*%# up in some way. This is who you really are. Did you really think that ….
The good news is, you don’t need to have a huge burst of worthiness to start to get up. Just as a small candle can bring a lot of light to a dark room, a little spark of worthiness goes a long way! It’s also good to know that you don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes we have to get a jump start from family, friends and even paid professionals like myself.
My next post will be on specific steps you can take to jump start your worthiness but until then I want to leave you with my own personal proverb:
She who sees herself as worthy can fall seven times and rise!